The Cycle of Life   

By Judith Barr, MS

Contact Info:
Company: Mysteries of Life
P O Box 603,
Brookfield, CT 06804
Phone: 203-775-5006
E-mail: judbarr@judithbarr.com
Website: www.judithbarr.com

We go ‘round the cycle of life again and again, each time walking the circle on a deeper level.  A spiral leading us inward and downward, into and through our own inner labyrinths.  A spiral leading us deeper and deeper into the mysteries of our own soul’s journey and into the mysteries of life.

 When they re-meet an old wound, people often say, “I thought I worked on that before.”  “Yes,” I say, “you did.  On a previous walk ‘round the cycle, at a different level of your being.”  Every time we move through the cycle of life, we revisit the same issues at deeper and more subtle layers of our being.  For example, if a woman worked on physical abuse five years ago, and verbal abuse two years ago, perhaps she will work on emotional abuse this year, energetic abuse next year, and psychic abuse the following year.

 So coming back to the same threads in our being is not a sign of failure.  It is a natural aspect of life’s cycles spiraling ever deeper toward the center.  At the same time, it can be a healer of duality ... if we allow it to be.  It can help us transform:  “Here again?  I thought I worked on that!  I guess I didn’t do a very good job!” ... into ... “Oh! So I’ve returned to this at a deeper, subtler level of its existence and mine.  I know it’s painful, yet I also celebrate the return and the opportunity it offers to clear and heal the wound still deeper within me.”

 With that said, let us take a journey together ‘round the cycle  of life ...

 Although there are some exceptions, I usually begin in the North.  The North.  Midnight of our day.  The dark of night.  Winter of our year.  The time of dying.  The death of the old.  Everything appears stark, barren, frozen, and dead on the surface ... While all the life energy draws itself in and downward to rest and be held within.  It is a time of introspection, deep, quiet transformation within.  In the time after the dying, there can be still, open emptiness ... the emptiness into which something new can eventually be conceived.  The north at its deepest becomes the ready womb.

 When we are aligned with the Divine in the North - we are midwives to the dying, and to the limitless possibilities that can follow the dying.  We come to the dying, not defenseless, but, rather, undefended ... with a commitment to serve, and a trust in the process of dying.  We attune to the dying ... Helping in the naming of what is dying, witnessing and bringing our presence, comforting and assisting in the dying ... all in a way that helps the dying itself, and, at the same time, helps to create a passageway from the dying into whatever will come next.

 When we are not aligned with the Divine in the North - the dying gets distorted into killing.  We kill our own feelings, our inspirations, our knowing,  we kill our dreams, our visions, and our hopes we may kill what we have manifested thus far.  We send out energy from ourselves that is killing energy.  If you’ve heard the phrase “if looks could kill,” you know an example of this.  Sometimes we kill our relationships, sometimes other living beings, like ants, spiders, bees, plants.  And at the far extreme, we may kill other  human beings.  All to defend ourselves against the dying!

 My prayer in the North ... that she will help us stay aligned with her; that she will help us come to her as undefended midwives, so we can serve her and the dying that needs to take place.

 We come to the East.  The East.  Dawn of our day.  The new light.  Spring of our year.  Life energy coming up from the depths.  The time of birthing.  The birth of the new.  New life peeking itself out into a new world from the deep, dark womb and through the frozen, hard ground.

 When we are aligned with the Divine in the East, we again serve as midwives, only this time, to the birth.  Again we come undefended, with a commitment to serve, and a trust in the process of birthing.  We hold a container for the birthing, attune to birther and that which is to be born, act as witness, comforter, and helper.  We respect and honor the timing, pace, rhythm, and movement, as it unfolds in its own organic process.

 When we are disconnected from the Divine in the East, we change from midwives into obstetricians.   We distort the birthing, turning it into a delivery.  We bring, whether consciously or not, our distrust and fear of the process of birthing, and of that which needs to be born.  We dishonor the natural rhythm of the birthing, forcing our own timing and pace upon the birth.    We may stop the birth, because we don’t want it now.  We may hurry  the birth, because we are tired of waiting and feel out of control.  We may go in after that which is to be born and pull it out, instead of letting it come on its own.  Or we may hold it in, refusing to let it emerge.  Perhaps we don’t like what we know needs to be born.  Perhaps it is our sorrow that needs to come to life, but we prevent its birthing because we would rather give birth to our joy.  Perhaps it is our anger or our fear that needs to be born, but we’d rather give birth to our playfulness.  In the East, when we are disconnected from the Divine, we bring our willfulness to the birthing process, distorting it beyond recognition.

 My prayer in the East ... That she will help us stay connected with her; that she will help us come to her as undefended midwives, open to release our willfulness for the sake of our deepest, most positive will ... our willingness to serve in the birthing as is truly needed.

We come to the South.  Noontime of our day.  The sun shines brightest and warmest from the sky straight above us.  The summer of our year.  Life has been protected and fed, nourished into growth.  Everything in bloom, blossoms surrounding us.  Life at its fullest.  The fire of life glowing, passionate, alive. 

When  we are connected with the Divine in the South, we consciously  commit to use our fullness, our fire, our heat, and our passion to serve the Divine.   We take great, purposeful care in how we use these powerful energies.

But when we are disconnected from the Divine in the South, we split off from consciousness of the power of our fire and how we use it.  As a result, we hurt ourselves and others, either by how we use our fullness, or by how we avoid using it.

It is frightening for us to come to the South.  There are two profound reasons.  First, every time we come to the South, we know, whether consciously or unconsciously, that we will meet the places in us where we have been wounded by someone else, misusing or abusing their fire with us.  Second, every time we come to the South, we know, albeit unconsciously, that we will meet the places in us where we would misuse or abuse the fire within us.  We may try to avoid the South, we may try not to move there in the first place.  We may try to go around it.  But in the depths of our beings, we know that in order to inhabit the fullness of who we are, we must visit the South again and again, willing to meet these places ... so it will be truly safe for us to be our full selves  and for those around us to be their full selves.

My prayer in the South ... that she will help us stay connected to her; that she will help us come to her again and again with our deepest longings to fully inhabit her energies in us, and with our openness and willingness to heal and transform the painful misuse  and abuse of her energies.

We come to the West.  The evening of our day.  Twilight.  The autumn of our year.  The fruits of this year’s life ripen on the vine and offer themselves for harvest.  And then, life cycles back into the dying again.

When we are aligned  with the Divine in the West, we receive the harvest.  We recognize the fruits.  We account for them.  We value even treasure them.  Innately we know how to reap the fruits of the harvest; exactly what to store for winter and how; what to enjoy now and how to serve it.  We know how much to keep for ourselves, how much to share with others, and with whom.  We have no doubts about the rightness of each aspect; we are clear about our discernment, not being distracted by judgments of selfishness or withholding.  Aligned with the Divine in the West, we instinctively relish the harvest as a moment in its own right and as a part of deeply preparing for the winter to come.

When we are disconnected from the Divine in the West, we refuse the harvest.  We discount the fruits, refusing to even recognize them.  Perhaps, as in the East, we bring our willfulness to the very fruits we have created, saying, “I don’t want this fruit.  I don’t want sadness as a fruit.  Who made this fruit?  It’s not mine!”  The harvest sits on our doorstep and we slam the door in its face, leaving it to rot.  Or perhaps, leaving it for someone to take.   Then, turning away from our own harvest, created by our own movement through the cycle of life ... we begin to look outward at others’ harvests.  We begin to want the harvest of our friend who has created anger, or the fruits of our neighbor who has created new life’s work, or the harvest of our partner who has created gratitude.  The more we refuse our own harvest, the more disconnected we become from our own cycle, our own spiral, the harvest that is needed in our journey right now, and ... the harvest that we are.

My prayer in the West ... that she will help us stay aligned with her; that she will help us welcome and hold the harvest that is ours; that she will help us heal duality in the face of, perhaps, a difficult harvest; that she will help us claim the harvest in and of itself, and also so we will be prepared for the approaching winter and the next cycle to come.

My prayer as we journey through the cycle of life ... That Life will help us stay aligned with her.  That she will help us grow our consciousness so that we can go into and through our journey with her and hold it at the same time.  That she will teach us to join and to live from the wedding of Truth and Love at the deepest levels of being.

©  Judith Barr, February 1997

Contact Info:
Judith Barr, MS
Company: Mysteries of Life
P.O. Box 218
North Salem, NY 10560
Phone: (914) 669-5822
E-mail: judbarr@judithbarr.com
Website: www.judithbarr.com

 

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