Parenting Young Children

by

American Mental Health Counselors Association

Sometimes parenting young children can be hard! As lovable as children are, they often cry, or disobey, or break things. The most important thing is to be patient with them. Unless a child is doing something that is dangerous, parents have time to stop and think about the best way to act.

Things to Do:

• Hug your children! Children usually act up to gain attention. A loving hug may be what they need!
• Be a positive role model. If you dislike your children's behavior, be sure to check your own.
• Re-direct children to more appropriate activities. Suggest their favorite book, game, or song.
• Take time-outs. Sometimes it helps to place children in a neutral room until they calm down. Often, it can be an even better idea for parents to go to another room until they calm down!
• Provide incentives to behave well. "When you finish your homework you can watch television."
• Give children choices, so they feel responsible. "Would you like to go to the movie or the park this afternoon?"
• Deliver directions in a supportive manner. It's much better to say "Make your bed" rather than to say "You better make your bed or else."
• Assist children with their chores. It is not such a big job to clean their bedroom if you help. Gradually let them assume more responsibility.
• Children appreciate family routines, especially at bedtime. Try to follow the same pattern every evening.

Things to Avoid:

• Don't get into a test of wills with your children. This only teaches them to be as stubborn as you are!
• Don't ever call your children names or tell them they are stupid. These words hurt children's self-esteem. Saying that you are sorry later will not repair the damage.
• Don't say "Wait until your father/mother gets home." This can create fear of the other parent. Deal with the behavior when it occurs.
• Don't strike children when you are angry. It is best to avoid striking them at all. Most parents admit that spanking is really used to release their own tension, rather than to correct the child.

Remain Patient:

• Most things young children do that are irritating are small things that no one will remember in five or ten years.
• Remember, one act of violence or attacks on self-esteem might never be forgotten!

THE GOLDEN RULE OF PARENTING

Be slow to act in anger, be quick to act with love.

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