The recent terrorist attacks have resulted in potentially thousands
of traumatic losses; losses that are sudden, unexpected, horrifying and
almost too overwhelming to comprehend. The process of grieving under
these circumstances is complicated not only by the loss of many lives,
but by the scenes of devastation, the inability of people to locate
their loved ones, the loss of an underlying sense of security, and the
fact that this event was caused by humans. The following are some
general stages through which people grieving a traumatic loss can be
expected to proceed . These stages are not necessarily chronological -
people will often revisit stages many times before reaching a point of
acceptance and peace. This is a very brief synopsis of the grieving
process. People experiencing a traumatic loss are encouraged to seek out
as much information as possible through grief resources and support
systems to help them understand and normalize their emotions, and to
seek professional therapeutic counseling.
Shock, Disbelief and Denial: These emotions are the first to
be felt after a traumatic loss. At this point, the mind cannot
comprehend the full scope of what has happened and people may feel like
they are having a nightmare from which they will awaken. Shock serves a
very valuable purpose; it is nature's way of softening the blow,
temporarily. People in shock will feel numb and dazed and their emotions
will feel frozen. Many people will initially experience feelings of
denial and refuse to believe their loved one is really gone. People at
this stage may relive the same moments of the disaster over and over
again. These repetitive thoughts are healthy - they are helping them to
absorb the painful reality.
Anger and Depression: Once someone moves beyond shock, the
reality of what has happened sinks in and very intense feelings of
sadness, anger and despair surface. In this stage, individuals can weep
uncontrollably and at unexpected times, sleeping may be disrupted, and
physical symptoms may appear (tightness in the chest, headaches,
fatigue, gastrointestinal upsets). Individuals may be very disorganized,
feel very confused and have difficulty making simple decisions. People
at this stage may find themselves thinking about the "what
ifs" or "if onlys". Anger and bitterness can surface
episodically, at times with frightening intensity. This anger may be
directed toward those responsible, or it may be unfocused and
unpredictable.
Understanding and Acceptance: At this point in the grieving
process, people are able to begin to let go of the hurt, pain, sadness
and anger and begin to find some balance in their lives again. Prior to
this, their grief has been present 100% of the time, but now they find
that slowly, positive feelings emerge and they feel hopeful again. They
begin to make new plans, start new traditions, and accept that things
will not "go back to normal". They instead forge a
"new" normal. There is no set time for when people should
expect to reach this stage. Some sources say it can take over a year to
reach this point. In cases of traumatic loss, this may take even longer.
© 2007 CIGNA Behavioral Health
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