While the number of people dead or unaccounted for in the September
11th terrorist attacks on the United States continues to rise, there are
also many survivors who were profoundly affected. While one's survival
is a joyous fact for one's friends and family, many survivors themselves
find it hard to celebrate. They feel guilty that they survived the
attacks and someone else did not. Many survivors question why they
survived and someone else perished, particularly when their survival
seemed to have more to do with coincidence or luck than some conscious
choice. This reaction is called "survivor guilt" and it is a
very normal response to a traumatic event. It is difficult for human
beings to feel grateful for being alive while at the same time feeling
intense sorrow for those who did not survive. The following are some
suggestions to assist in managing feelings of survivor guilt:
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings and understand that they are
perfectly normal. Celebrating your own life does not in any way
diminish your sorrow and grief over those who were lost. All of your
feelings are an important part of the grieving process and should
not be suppressed.
- Talk about how you feel with other survivors. You will find that
you are not the only one with these feelings, and simply knowing
that will help you to resolve them.
- Recognize that the fact that you survived while others did not is
a total mystery. No one can answer the ultimate question,
"why" so try not to spend too much time trying to answer
the unanswerable. Instead, look to find a purpose in your life and
meaning in the things you can do as a result of having survived.
- Find ways to keep alive the memory of those who were lost. This
can be done on a small scale by creating a memory book, or by
donating to or participating in larger memorial events.
- For those who are second-guessing any of their decisions on
September 11, 2001, remember that everyone involved in the crises
made the absolute best decisions they could make under incredibly
chaotic, traumatic and uncertain circumstances. It is pointless to
focus any energy on "what ifs," and unfair to apply the
knowledge you now have to a moment in time when that information did
not exist.
- Don't let feelings of guilt keep you from responding to your own
needs. There is a difference between mourning the losses and
punishing yourself.
- Recognize your powerlessness over any of the negative outcomes of
that day and focus instead on the things that you have control over
today. Being present-focused will help you channel your energy in
the most productive way.
- Consider turning to spiritual resources for help in finding a
framework for the events that took place and for resolving strong
guilt feelings.
- If your feelings of guilt are so overwhelming that you find it
difficult to care for yourself or perform necessary activities,
please seek the help of a grief professional. Your Employee
Assistance Program can help you find the appropriate resources.
© 2007 CIGNA Behavioral Health
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